








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11524 | 44% |
| Smokes | 6179 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3315 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5081 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,973 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | GnL | 50% | 42 |
| #8 | TouF | 50% | 169 |
| #9 | ☯ A ı ƒ A ı R ☯ | 49% | 59 |
| #10 | baltz^ | 47% | 73 |
| #11 | v1nce | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gko | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | LewisD2K | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | TouF | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | joshiño #LPEE | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | GnL | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gko | 1072 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | LewisD2K | 1058 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #3 | kAwax | 894 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #4 | TouF | 786 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #5 | baltz^ | 291 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kAwax | +0.87 | 58 | 62 |
| #2 | GnL | +0.87 | 68 | 79 |
| #3 | baltz^ | +0.78 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | LewisD2K | +0.72 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | D2K | +0.56 | 58 | 74 |





