








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 227 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4057 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4040 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4047 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3597 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,486 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinnex | 73% | 48 |
| #2 | Hobbes | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | chuckyqueso | 55% | 299 |
| #4 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | N1ck_3k | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | chuckyqueso | 55% | 299 |
| #4 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | N1ck_3k | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | EVOLCGonTWITCH | 50% | 32 |
| #7 | Browniee | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuckyqueso | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Hobbes | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Browniee | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuckyqueso | 980 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | Browniee | 382 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hobbes | 211 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | N1ck_3k | 178 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | sinnex | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinnex | +3.94 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | N1ck_3k | +1.00 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Hobbes | +0.73 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | Browniee | +0.73 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | chuckyqueso | +0.19 | 71 | 66 |





