








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2996 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2966 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2826 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,778 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smoge | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | chuckyqueso | 57% | 63 |
| #3 | MakoTaco | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | sinnex | 56% | 80 |
| #5 | Miyagi | 50% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | REALLYLAZY | 49% | 142 |
| #7 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 49% | 208 |
| #8 | Erik | 49% | 82 |
| #9 | rezon | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | chrischaan | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | REALLYLAZY | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Miyagi | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Erik | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | sinnex | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyagi | 1125 | 0.28 | 33 min |
| #2 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 615 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | REALLYLAZY | 463 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | chuckyqueso | 245 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | sinnex | 235 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinnex | +3.46 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | Hobbes | +1.15 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | chuckyqueso | +0.74 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | druuuuuuuuuuu | -0.20 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | MakoTaco | -0.20 | 62 | 68 |





