








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 283 | 13% |
| Smokes | 886 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 367 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,422 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMACK. | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | MrBuene | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Marrish | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | Angry Joey | 48% | 99 |
| #5 | ChrisG | 46% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Angry Joey | 48% | 99 |
| #5 | ChrisG | 46% | 92 |
| #6 | RalphL. | 45% | 78 |
| #7 | Habbydabbado | 45% | 47 |
| #8 | Ovi | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisG | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | SMACK. | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Marrish | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | RalphL. | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | MrBuene | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angry Joey | 298 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | SMACK. | 146 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Marrish | 116 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | ChrisG | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | RalphL. | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMACK. | +0.89 | 50 | 72 |
| #2 | Marrish | +0.54 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Angry Joey | +0.25 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | BQBLY ツ | +0.08 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | RalphL. | -0.41 | 72 | 56 |





