








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 1,746 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1428 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1466 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1672 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1596 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,432,303 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMACK. | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | hazion | 57% | 67 |
| #3 | Angry Joey | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | bolle | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Livetlugger | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrBuene | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ChrisG | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | RalphL. | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Livetlugger | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | SMACK. | 3 | 0.0034 |





