








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 585 | 22% |
| Smokes | 919 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 483 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,867 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marrish | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | ChrisG | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | BQBLY ツ | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | MrBuene | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | RalphL. | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | RalphL. | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | Angry Joey | 50% | 76 |
| #7 | Habbydabbado | 38% | 32 |
| #8 | Naughty | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Phil_McCrack | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marrish | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ChrisG | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Angry Joey | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | BQBLY ツ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Habbydabbado | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angry Joey | 218 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Marrish | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | RalphL. | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ChrisG | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Phil_McCrack | 29 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naughty | +1.73 | 55 | 64 |
| #2 | SMACK. | +0.82 | 50 | 71 |
| #3 | Angry Joey | +0.54 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | Marrish | -0.05 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | BQBLY ツ | -0.44 | 80 | 48 |





