








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1636 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2261 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3365 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3119 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,238,290 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1022 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merked | 68% | 66 |
| #2 | DomJM | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | grxts | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | Folke West | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | Storm | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConflictBruh | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | DomJM | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Jobbie | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | grxts | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Merked | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConflictBruh | 560 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Merked | 325 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | Luppy | 205 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | ptrlele | 185 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | DomJM | 142 | 0.16 | 4 min |





