








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2512 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4188 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1114 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1550 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,230,479 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bailz66 | 54% | 72 |
| #2 | negevjenkins | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | foR | 53% | 125 |
| #4 | Wobbie | 51% | 158 |
| #5 | Jerimi | 50% | 315 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | foR | 53% | 125 |
| #4 | Wobbie | 51% | 158 |
| #5 | Jerimi | 50% | 315 |
| #6 | Friendly Idiot | 47% | 116 |
| #7 | Crew | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerimi | 31 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | negevjenkins | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Wobbie | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Friendly Idiot | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Crew | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerimi | 1421 | 0.21 | 37 min |
| #2 | Friendly Idiot | 504 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | foR | 317 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | negevjenkins | 187 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Crew | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foR | +2.21 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | Jerimi | +1.11 | 41 | 68 |
| #3 | negevjenkins | +0.11 | 36 | 48 |
| #4 | Friendly Idiot | +0.05 | 39 | 70 |
| #5 | Tako | -0.05 | 57 | 54 |





