








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2283 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1975 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1404 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 924 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,557 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | negevjenkins | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | foR | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | Crew | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Tako | 47% | 116 |
| #5 | Bailz66 | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Crew | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Tako | 47% | 116 |
| #5 | Bailz66 | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | Wobbie | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | 50 Shades of Daddy | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tako | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | negevjenkins | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | foR | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Wobbie | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Crew | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tako | 117 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | foR | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | negevjenkins | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Crew | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | 50 Shades of Daddy | 26 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foR | +1.64 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | 50 Shades of Daddy | +0.38 | 65 | 51 |
| #3 | Friendly Idiot | +0.07 | 38 | 70 |
| #4 | Tako | -0.47 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | negevjenkins | -0.73 | 15 | 52 |





