








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 420 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2141 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5855 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 5252 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2230 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,789 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foR | 54% | 105 |
| #2 | Tako | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | Jerimi | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | Crew | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | Wobbie | 50% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tako | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | Jerimi | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | Crew | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | Wobbie | 50% | 167 |
| #6 | negevjenkins | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wobbie | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Jerimi | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | foR | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Crew | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Tako | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerimi | 320 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | foR | 234 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crew | 198 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wobbie | 172 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | negevjenkins | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foR | +3.21 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Jerimi | +1.87 | 43 | 67 |
| #3 | negevjenkins | +0.61 | 41 | 48 |
| #4 | Tako | +0.14 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Crew | -0.41 | 45 | 62 |





