










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 22% |
| Smokes | 206 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 429 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,590 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrodii | 29% | 17 |
| #2 | Oddity | 25% | 48 |
| #3 | Yetskii | 24% | 50 |
| #4 | MootyBuncher | 23% | 22 |
| #5 | LazySmurf Live! | 14% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Yetskii | 24% | 50 |
| #4 | MootyBuncher | 23% | 22 |
| #5 | LazySmurf Live! | 14% | 36 |
| #6 | MikuOnakan | 11% | 18 |
| #7 | ☕Mojo.Exe | 0% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikuOnakan | 8 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Oddity | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Yetskii | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | LazySmurf Live! | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Cyrodii | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oddity | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | LazySmurf Live! | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Yetskii | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | MikuOnakan | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | ☕Mojo.Exe | 15 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oddity | +2.96 | 64 | 46 |
| #2 | Cyrodii | +1.98 | 47 | 27 |
| #3 | Yetskii | +1.46 | 40 | 44 |
| #4 | MikuOnakan | -2.72 | 4 | 22 |
| #5 | LazySmurf Live! | -4.85 | 15 | 46 |





