








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1979 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3438 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4141 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1973 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,787 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1041 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrodii | 51% | 150 |
| #2 | choking hazard | 46% | 97 |
| #3 | Yetskii | 45% | 431 |
| #4 | MootyBuncher | 43% | 115 |
| #5 | MikuOnakan | 42% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Yetskii | 45% | 431 |
| #4 | MootyBuncher | 43% | 115 |
| #5 | MikuOnakan | 42% | 203 |
| #6 | LazySmurf Live! | 28% | 68 |
| #7 | ❤ 𝓹𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓽𝓲 ❤ | 25% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikuOnakan | 74 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | Yetskii | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Cyrodii | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | choking hazard | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | LazySmurf Live! | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yetskii | 641 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | choking hazard | 350 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | MikuOnakan | 226 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | LazySmurf Live! | 154 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cyrodii | 136 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrodii | +2.58 | 53 | 33 |
| #2 | choking hazard | +1.93 | 46 | 64 |
| #3 | Oddity | +1.13 | 54 | 46 |
| #4 | Yetskii | +0.07 | 41 | 56 |
| #5 | MikuOnakan | -2.85 | 8 | 33 |





