








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3643 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2765 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1478 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,243 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BonZo. | 32% | 57 |
| #10 | XDonFlo | 29% | 24 |
| #11 | Brö | 28% | 18 |
| #12 | Brunokus | 24% | 21 |
| #13 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 8% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | 14 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | chris | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | muetze | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | sh!to | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | 373 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #2 | chris | 296 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | W☺ødy² | 277 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #4 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 121 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | Evil_fingA | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |





