








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3730 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3799 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3645 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2777 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,304 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricolinobimsko | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | muetze | 50% | 94 |
| #3 | Qwer | 46% | 140 |
| #4 | Rainstorm* | 45% | 65 |
| #5 | sh!to | 42% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dahoff | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | muetze | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | sh!to | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Qwer | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Haxx, clearly! | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qwer | 150 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | sh!to | 140 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | dahoff | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | muetze | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rainstorm* | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haxx, clearly! | +1.66 | 62 | 43 |
| #2 | sh!to | +0.62 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | Qwer | +0.41 | 46 | 63 |
| #4 | muetze | -0.09 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | chris | -0.12 | 58 | 69 |





