








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1049 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Renown | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8395 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8930 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7693 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6088 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,139,924 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1026 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | 71% | 68 |
| #2 | RAGERRR | 68% | 57 |
| #3 | FataL | 62% | 74 |
| #4 | sekoyadanyo | 56% | 73 |
| #5 | Bisso | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Birnenmarmelade | 54% | 126 |
| #9 | ⚡iNS4NEdUDE | 54% | 41 |
| #10 | bara | 53% | 62 |
| #11 | remi. | 52% | 60 |
| #12 | CHRISP | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birnenmarmelade | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | zenden 」 | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | sekoyadanyo | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | CHRISP | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | FataL | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zenden 」 | 396 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Birnenmarmelade | 333 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | FataL | 286 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | remi. | 257 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | sekoyadanyo | 232 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hades | +2.57 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | Birnenmarmelade | +1.89 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | sekoyadanyo | +1.72 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | CHRISP | +1.49 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | rojo | +1.32 | 86 | 72 |





