








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2013 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2250 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2361 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,261 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceebs | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | BubKay | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | 2oldtogame | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | ☘️ Wushu_TV | 40% | 45 |
| #5 | backpain | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BubKay | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | 2oldtogame | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | ☘️ Wushu_TV | 40% | 45 |
| #5 | backpain | 38% | 40 |
| #6 | I dont bathe | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BubKay | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | 2oldtogame | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ☘️ Wushu_TV | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2oldtogame | 321 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | ☘️ Wushu_TV | 224 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | backpain | 172 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | BubKay | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ceebs | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☘️ Wushu_TV | +2.59 | 59 | 81 |
| #2 | Ceebs | +2.05 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | xillix | +0.38 | 26 | 57 |
| #4 | I dont bathe | +0.29 | 53 | 37 |
| #5 | BubKay | +0.19 | 43 | 35 |





