








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7511 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4392 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4218 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4584 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,535 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | I dont bathe | 47% | 107 |
| #9 | backpain | 40% | 57 |
| #10 | xillix | 40% | 45 |
| #11 | BACKPAINJR | 38% | 21 |
| #12 | RigorMortis | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2oldtogame | 1244 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #2 | backpain | 236 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jay | 167 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | I dont bathe | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Alpha | 115 | 0.11 | 2 min |





