








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 849 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5084 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3030 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1819 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3355 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $656,964 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansinator | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | chico papi chulo | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | KALVNNN | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Woolly Mammoth | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Kairos | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | melløw | 46% | 68 |
| #7 | Simojo | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | Crazy ☆ | 44% | 54 |
| #9 | Luusbueb*iu* | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Alucard | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melløw | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Hansinator | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Crazy ☆ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | chico papi chulo | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Luusbueb*iu* | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melløw | 230 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | chico papi chulo | 122 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Crazy ☆ | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | KALVNNN | 99 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #5 | Luusbueb*iu* | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy1Z1/BOT | +1.42 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | KALVNNN | +0.89 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | Hansinator | +0.88 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | chico papi chulo | +0.74 | 76 | 75 |
| #5 | Simojo | -0.05 | 56 | 77 |





