








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5092 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4074 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4700 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2886 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,886,866 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Jeff | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | Terror Peter | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Joschi | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | wulpi | 52% | 58 |
| #5 | sT1VN | 52% | 33 |





