








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3797 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3749 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3067 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2401 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,450 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 781 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Childish Sampino | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | bapanada | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Asalo | 54% | 99 |
| #4 | abe | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | c0w | 51% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Moth | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | m1 | 44% | 32 |
| #11 | Skrunk | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Stylish | 41% | 71 |
| #13 | ⛟⛟⛟⛟⛟ ► eggwoll | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0w | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Asalo | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Aspect | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Childish Sampino | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | m1 | 4 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asalo | 475 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | abe | 316 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #3 | Stylish | 180 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Childish Sampino | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | c0w | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |





