








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 500 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4031 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3631 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4623 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4374 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,934,623 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joey NoScopes | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | m1 | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | ⛟⛟⛟⛟⛟ ► eggwoll | 53% | 261 |
| #4 | Spirit | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | Maxenevitable | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | m1 | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | ⛟⛟⛟⛟⛟ ► eggwoll | 53% | 261 |
| #4 | Spirit | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | Maxenevitable | 49% | 94 |
| #6 | Bobb | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟⛟⛟⛟⛟ ► eggwoll | 53 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Maxenevitable | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | m1 | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Spirit | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Bobb | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spirit | 355 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Maxenevitable | 229 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | m1 | 203 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | ⛟⛟⛟⛟⛟ ► eggwoll | 148 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bobb | 104 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aspect | +2.52 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | m1 | +2.43 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | Joey NoScopes | +1.23 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Maxenevitable | +0.76 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Spirit | +0.15 | 40 | 58 |





