








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2149 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1773 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1517 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,158 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mopemup | 54% | 196 |
| #2 | VastoLorde | 53% | 163 |
| #3 | Jabooty | 53% | 167 |
| #4 | Broder Jimmie | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Galilya | 51% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jabooty | 53% | 167 |
| #4 | Broder Jimmie | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Galilya | 51% | 143 |
| #6 | duvan🕊 | 48% | 52 |
| #7 | iskuben | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mopemup | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Jabooty | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | duvan🕊 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | VastoLorde | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Broder Jimmie | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mopemup | 896 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | Jabooty | 778 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | VastoLorde | 545 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | duvan🕊 | 201 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Galilya | 103 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Logik | +2.03 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Mopemup | +1.77 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | duvan🕊 | +0.81 | 77 | 84 |
| #4 | Jabooty | +0.34 | 62 | 64 |
| #5 | VastoLorde | +0.18 | 83 | 66 |





