








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3334 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2411 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1478 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2040 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,071 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAST | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Jabooty | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | Sill | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Mopemup | 58% | 101 |
| #5 | Lidman1 | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | viz | 50% | 22 |
| #12 | Logik | 48% | 52 |
| #13 | dandan | 47% | 19 |
| #14 | bot_walle | 43% | 14 |
| #15 | styron | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VastoLorde | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | iskuben | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Mopemup | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Jabooty | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Logik | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mopemup | 378 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jabooty | 321 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | VastoLorde | 209 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Logik | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | styron | 79 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAST | +2.33 | 70 | 90 |
| #2 | Lidman1 | +1.87 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | duvan🕊 | +1.80 | 81 | 82 |
| #4 | Mopemup | +1.54 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Logik | +0.92 | 73 | 62 |





