








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 27% |
| Smokes | 541 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,103 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tar1k | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | shiseii | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Einfach besser l2p | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | covesto | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | Sno0w | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckxes | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | DeXXetY® | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | covesto | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Einfach besser l2p | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | WM BEST MODE | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckxes | 161 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | DeXXetY® | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | covesto | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sno0w | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Einfach besser l2p | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |





