








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1841 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 37% |
| Smokes | 823 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1957 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 410 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,966,965 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Charmster | 49% | 97 |
| #8 | FoxyMarty | 48% | 233 |
| #9 | Sibir | 47% | 283 |
| #10 | #1 COLDEST sigma | 41% | 353 |
| #11 | 𝓐𝓻1𝓪͜͜͡͡✯ | 40% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #1 COLDEST sigma | 79 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Zar | 22 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Sibir | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | FoxyMarty | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | sawthy | 12 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sawthy | 815 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | blessthefallfan | 394 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | Charmster | 373 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | dolbik_digital | 320 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Juho | 265 | 0.13 | 5 min |





