








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 561 | 18% |
| Smokes | 868 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,858 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akustic | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | efaN | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Quack? | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | TinyFroggiee | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | Daddy Jase | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lo siento, Wilson | 48% | 23 |
| #10 | JericoCane | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | James Bondage | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | m0tch | 37% | 19 |
| #13 | Ribbler the Diddler | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Jase | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | TinyFroggiee | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | efaN | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | m0tch | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Quack? | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Jase | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cattie | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | efaN | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Quack? | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | TinyFroggiee | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TinyFroggiee | +5.47 | 80 | 41 |
| #2 | Cattie | +2.92 | 77 | 51 |
| #3 | efaN | +2.10 | 49 | 50 |
| #4 | Akustic | +1.35 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | Paggen | +0.84 | 58 | 53 |





