








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4953 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6362 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6063 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5258 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,594,934 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chillor | 50% | 449 |
| #6 | theDONALD | 50% | 303 |
| #7 | Dr. Spedinov | 49% | 164 |
| #8 | emkay | 49% | 344 |
| #9 | .saHnEE.- | 41% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emkay | 1450 | 0.20 | 39 min |
| #2 | Chillor | 1100 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #3 | spede_ | 644 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #4 | Dr. Spedinov | 594 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #5 | theDONALD | 566 | 0.09 | 17 min |





