








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4852 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4290 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5023 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3854 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,609 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PLYYBMANE666 [s] | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | ∼*∼pyro∼*∼ | 48% | 69 |
| #9 | Chillor | 48% | 149 |
| #10 | pava [s] | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | .saHnEE.- | 44% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emkay | 537 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Uku | 369 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Chillor | 359 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | twitch.tv/gamereader | 325 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | .saHnEE.- | 288 | 0.10 | 6 min |





