








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3299 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2649 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3468 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2561 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,352 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uklack | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Dr. Spedinov | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | emkay | 51% | 186 |
| #4 | spede_ | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | Uku | 50% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | emkay | 51% | 186 |
| #4 | spede_ | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | Uku | 50% | 303 |
| #6 | Chillor | 46% | 203 |
| #7 | .saHnEE.- | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uku | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | emkay | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | spede_ | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | .saHnEE.- | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Dr. Spedinov | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emkay | 807 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | Uku | 618 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Chillor | 506 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Dr. Spedinov | 337 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | spede_ | 310 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emkay | +2.19 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Uklack | +0.72 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | Uku | +0.53 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | spede_ | +0.02 | 53 | 81 |
| #5 | .saHnEE.- | -0.74 | 69 | 60 |





