








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1513 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1727 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1408 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,139 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1mon's Daller | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Lars | 51% | 73 |
| #3 | 2dead2die | 50% | 116 |
| #4 | Vandmelon | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | Gifflerne | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lars | 51% | 73 |
| #3 | 2dead2die | 50% | 116 |
| #4 | Vandmelon | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | Gifflerne | 45% | 58 |
| #6 | NickNack Patty-Wack | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dead2die | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | D1mon's Daller | 9 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | Vandmelon | 8 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Gifflerne | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Lars | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dead2die | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lars | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gifflerne | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vandmelon | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | D1mon's Daller | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dead2die | +3.90 | 55 | 43 |
| #2 | D1mon's Daller | +1.86 | 50 | 65 |
| #3 | Gifflerne | +1.70 | 50 | 34 |
| #4 | NickNack Patty-Wack | +0.03 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | Lars | -0.13 | 40 | 45 |





