








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 295 | 24% |
| Smokes | 330 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 260 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,837 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 26% | 34 | ||
| #5 | Bubbi<3<(-__-)> | 25% | 16 |
| 23% | 13 | ||
| #7 | Lars | 22% | 18 |
| #8 | Gifflerne | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | 0.0120 | ||
| 2 | 0.0062 | ||
| 1 | 0.0015 | ||
| #4 | Lars | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | 2dead2die | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbi<3<(-__-)> | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| 22 | 0.09 | 1 min | ||
| #3 | Lars | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| 19 | 0.06 | 0 min | ||
| #5 | 2dead2die | 15 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dead2die | +4.67 | 60 | 38 |
| #2 | NickNack Patty-Wack | +1.42 | 55 | 65 |
| #3 | Lars | -0.11 | 43 | 45 |
| #4 | Vandmelon | -0.17 | 12 | 47 |
| #5 | Gifflerne | -1.65 | 50 | 4 |





