








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 14% |
| Smokes | 803 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1144 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,610 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1mon's Daller | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | Vandmelon | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Skov | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | 🄰🅁🄽🄾🄻🄳 | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Lars | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dead2die | 37 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Vandmelon | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | D1mon's Daller | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Skov | 7 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | Bubbi<3<(-__-)> | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dead2die | 255 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | D1mon's Daller | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bubbi<3<(-__-)> | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lars | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vandmelon | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |





