








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 756 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5228 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5621 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8054 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6313 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,435,991 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAJA | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | Яotari | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Phoenix | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 53% | 60 |
| #5 | Wuchtel | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wuchtel | 48% | 54 |
| #6 | Kurdel | 47% | 89 |
| #7 | kyouden 𐕣 | 46% | 67 |
| #8 | Filou. | 43% | 56 |
| #9 | ice. | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Kurdel | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Wuchtel | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ice. | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Phoenix | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 269 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kurdel | 207 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | kyouden 𐕣 | 185 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wuchtel | 163 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Filou. | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAJA | +3.07 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | Kurdel | +2.35 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | Filou. | +1.26 | 53 | 67 |
| #4 | Wuchtel | +1.09 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | Яotari | -0.25 | 76 | 57 |





