








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2685 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2687 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2360 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1643 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,411 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyomis | 62% | 89 |
| #2 | Juugel | 60% | 98 |
| #3 | Kodeka | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | 6WeedBlazin'6BlackCaucasian6 | 56% | 71 |
| #5 | Eme the Dog | 55% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Eme the Dog | 55% | 148 |
| #6 | Sch | 53% | 30 |
| #7 | Pipsa Possu | 51% | 118 |
| #8 | Sippo.P | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | Istuu | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyomis | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Eme the Dog | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | 6WeedBlazin'6BlackCaucasian6 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Pipsa Possu | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eme the Dog | 450 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Juugel | 307 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | 6WeedBlazin'6BlackCaucasian6 | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pipsa Possu | 141 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lyomis | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyomis | +1.95 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | 6WeedBlazin'6BlackCaucasian6 | +1.58 | 75 | 76 |
| #3 | Juugel | +1.45 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | ODSMO | +0.92 | 68 | 80 |
| #5 | Kodeka | +0.14 | 32 | 64 |





