








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2601 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2892 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2495 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2442 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,233 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puukankku | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | testoma$a | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | jomi) | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | RUDY[u_u] | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | Mellu Nolan | 65% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | sainiO👴 | 47% | 53 |
| #18 | Halinalle | 46% | 28 |
| #19 | fropeli | 44% | 16 |
| #20 | vilhardy | 41% | 32 |
| #21 | DvL | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teppo | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | CBッ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Wesku | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | tuutti | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Mellu Nolan | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teppo | 278 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mellu Nolan | 275 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | tuutti | 189 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | CBッ | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | vilhardy | 156 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henxu | +2.06 | 94 | 62 |
| #2 | Puukankku | +2.02 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Mellu Nolan | +2.00 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | RUDY[u_u] | +1.93 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | fropeli | +1.47 | 87 | 69 |





