








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 21% |
| Smokes | 388 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,405 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp0m | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | Nyderralith | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | hFs | 53% | 62 |
| #4 | crix | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | evo | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nyderralith | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | hFs | 53% | 62 |
| #4 | crix | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | evo | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | The real Clinton | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crix | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | The real Clinton | 2 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hFs | 196 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nyderralith | 161 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | crix | 151 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | sp0m | 97 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | evo | 55 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crix | +3.14 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | sp0m | +1.42 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Nyderralith | +1.17 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | hFs | -0.41 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | evo | -0.73 | 68 | 69 |





