








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2877 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2873 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2005 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2241 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,784 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 534 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avocado Ali | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | -nothing- | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | sp0m | 55% | 93 |
| #4 | EhmTofficial | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | Nyderralith | 51% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nyderralith | 51% | 247 |
| #6 | praT_tippen ein | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | hFs | 48% | 183 |
| #8 | evo | 40% | 82 |
| #9 | The real Clinton | 40% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The real Clinton | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | sp0m | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | evo | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | praT_tippen ein | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | hFs | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyderralith | 615 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | hFs | 613 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | evo | 274 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | sp0m | 252 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | The real Clinton | 201 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crix | +2.64 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | praT_tippen ein | +2.55 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | sp0m | +1.74 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | Nyderralith | +1.15 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | Avocado Ali | -0.43 | 78 | 54 |





