








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 18% |
| Smokes | 311 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,766 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | Timmy #2624 | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | McKayla | 36% | 22 |
| #11 | KIR8Y007™ | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McKayla | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | kʰrónos | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ROBZ #2624 | 1 | 0.0035 |





