








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5006 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5342 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3502 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3153 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,494,469 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 815 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuuL ✪ | 70% | 71 |
| #2 | the diddler | 69% | 45 |
| #3 | calzone | 56% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuuL ✪ | 70% | 71 |
| #2 | the diddler | 69% | 45 |
| #3 | calzone | 56% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calzone | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | BuuL ✪ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calzone | 1105 | 0.34 | 25 min |
| #2 | the diddler | 248 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | BuuL ✪ | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the diddler | +1.33 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | calzone | +0.74 | 54 | 73 |
| #3 | yawn | +0.55 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | BuuL ✪ | +0.23 | 85 | 56 |





