








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1618 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1757 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,035 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iSyanQaR26 | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | tazoc00n | 52% | 86 |
| #3 | bingodeagle | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Tyodi | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Muty | 49% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | wrr | 47% | 117 |
| #8 | レゴシ | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | süse | 43% | 40 |
| #10 | Zero ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 40% | 65 |
| #11 | ✪ SHINZY | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muty | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Zero ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | fasthand | 8 | 0.0184 |
| #4 | wrr | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | tazoc00n | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muty | 729 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | wrr | 311 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | tazoc00n | 169 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zero ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 96 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | süse | 93 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyodi | +2.53 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | wrr | +2.15 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | tazoc00n | +1.93 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | iSyanQaR26 | +1.77 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Muty | +1.17 | 70 | 70 |





