








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 229 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6878 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6877 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5771 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7010 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,285,163 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 688 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metA^ | 53% | 121 |
| #2 | _rAnz | 51% | 127 |
| #3 | jeguu | 51% | 152 |
| #4 | Lemon | 50% | 222 |
| #5 | Kurjur Paspes | 44% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jeguu | 51% | 152 |
| #4 | Lemon | 50% | 222 |
| #5 | Kurjur Paspes | 44% | 216 |
| #6 | TOYSЯUS | 43% | 300 |
| #7 | Myro | 40% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOYSЯUS | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kurjur Paspes | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | _rAnz | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | metA^ | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Myro | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOYSЯUS | 1229 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | Kurjur Paspes | 685 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | metA^ | 647 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #4 | Myro | 383 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | _rAnz | 357 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | +1.82 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | metA^ | +1.67 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | _rAnz | +1.37 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | n9 | +0.63 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | Kurjur Paspes | +0.58 | 53 | 60 |





