








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2853 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3289 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3016 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2038 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,873 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurjur Paspes | 43% | 197 |
| #2 | Lemon | 42% | 140 |
| #3 | TOYSЯUS | 41% | 265 |
| #4 | n9 | 40% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurjur Paspes | 43% | 197 |
| #2 | Lemon | 42% | 140 |
| #3 | TOYSЯUS | 41% | 265 |
| #4 | n9 | 40% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOYSЯUS | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | n9 | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Kurjur Paspes | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Lemon | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOYSЯUS | 1071 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | n9 | 734 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | Kurjur Paspes | 651 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Lemon | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | +2.00 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | n9 | +1.85 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Kurjur Paspes | +1.10 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | TOYSЯUS | -0.13 | 70 | 64 |
| #5 | Myro | -4.23 | 28 | 56 |





