








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1065 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2538 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1762 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,190 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metA^ | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | _rAnz | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | jeguu | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | n9 | 50% | 222 |
| #5 | Kurjur Paspes | 48% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jeguu | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | n9 | 50% | 222 |
| #5 | Kurjur Paspes | 48% | 160 |
| #6 | TOYSЯUS | 43% | 177 |
| #7 | Myro | 42% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurjur Paspes | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TOYSЯUS | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | n9 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | jeguu | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | metA^ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOYSЯUS | 724 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | n9 | 562 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Kurjur Paspes | 510 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | metA^ | 250 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #5 | Myro | 176 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metA^ | +2.68 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | _rAnz | +1.78 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | Lemon | +1.73 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | n9 | +0.95 | 62 | 71 |
| #5 | Kurjur Paspes | +0.48 | 52 | 60 |





