








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Renown | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3754 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3672 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2679 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3091 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,381 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neunard | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | gro | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Nitschu | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | pain. | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jesko / fjk_do | 54% | 61 |
| #7 | Toui | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | Holo San | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | StoneX | 41% | 27 |
| #10 | Kilian | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesko / fjk_do | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | pain. | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Neunard | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Toui | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesko / fjk_do | 353 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 189 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nitschu | 179 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | StoneX | 145 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Neunard | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesko / fjk_do | +2.21 | 88 | 78 |
| #2 | Nitschu | +1.35 | 78 | 77 |
| #3 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.17 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | Neunard | +0.95 | 83 | 64 |
| #5 | gro | +0.92 | 73 | 79 |





