








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2735 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3722 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3556 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2920 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,741 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dsp.Sturrieh | 54% | 112 |
| #2 | Kudosai | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | LidexY | 50% | 126 |
| #4 | Fo4m | 49% | 84 |
| #5 | Snusmumrikken | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bl0mKaal | 47% | 76 |
| #7 | sandjer | 47% | 130 |
| #8 | Jeroz | 47% | 60 |
| #9 | SidexY | 46% | 81 |
| #10 | ATLAS | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LidexY | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Dsp.Sturrieh | 4 | 0.0296 |
| #3 | sandjer | 3 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | SidexY | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Fo4m | 2 | 0.0833 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LidexY | 159 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | sandjer | 91 | 0.55 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fo4m | 85 | 3.54 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bl0mKaal | 62 | 0.54 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dsp.Sturrieh | 49 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SidexY | +0.00 | 46 | 58 |
| #2 | Jeroz | +0.00 | 53 | 65 |
| #3 | ATLAS | +0.00 | 57 | 69 |
| #4 | Snusmumrikken | +0.00 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | LidexY | +0.00 | 63 | 78 |





