








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Esplay | 34 matches | 2,040 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5340 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6972 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6567 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6068 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,309,447 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nøtter | 54% | 112 |
| #2 | W𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 | 52% | 166 |
| #3 | Snusmumrikken | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | sandjer | 51% | 174 |
| #5 | Maskinツ | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sandjer | 51% | 174 |
| #5 | Maskinツ | 51% | 57 |
| #6 | Bl0mKaal | 49% | 51 |
| #7 | Fo4m | 49% | 272 |
| #8 | LidexY | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Fo4m | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | sandjer | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Bl0mKaal | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Nøtter | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fo4m | 560 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | LidexY | 339 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | sandjer | 338 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | W𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 | 312 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Nøtter | 259 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dsp.Sturrieh | +2.89 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Maskinツ | +1.02 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | Bl0mKaal | +0.93 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | sandjer | +0.83 | 81 | 69 |
| #5 | Nøtter | +0.41 | 74 | 63 |





