








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1243 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1043 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,838 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Dr. Draven | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | D4V3 | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | FKM | Auslander | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Tiny Thor | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Dr. Draven | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | D4V3 | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | FKM | Auslander | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Tiny Thor | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4V3 | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | FKM | Auslander | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiny Thor | 57 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | D4V3 | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dr. Draven | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | FKM | Auslander | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuMpuTusKi | +0.64 | 50 | 60 |
| #2 | D4V3 | -1.09 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Dr. Draven | -1.51 | 28 | 72 |
| #4 | FKM | Auslander | -1.94 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | -2.18 | 70 | 51 |





