








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1428 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1678 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1722 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1596 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $957,422 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4V3 | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | BUMBI | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | flinx | 48% | 179 |
| #4 | Flimsy | 47% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4V3 | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | BUMBI | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | flinx | 48% | 179 |
| #4 | Flimsy | 47% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flinx | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Flimsy | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | BUMBI | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | D4V3 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flimsy | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | flinx | 128 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | D4V3 | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | BUMBI | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FKM | Auslander | +2.12 | 56 | 61 |
| #2 | Flimsy | +0.61 | 62 | 62 |
| #3 | D4V3 | -0.44 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | BUMBI | -1.77 | 39 | 57 |
| #5 | flinx | -3.08 | 33 | 43 |





