








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 105 | 25% |
| Smokes | 75 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 155 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,543 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoda | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Mr.Epic114 | 40% | 15 |
| #3 | tmelks | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 33% | 40 |
| #5 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 33% | 40 |
| #5 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 29% | 21 |
| #6 | Max Keeble | 28% | 32 |
| #7 | leo | 20% | 5 |
| #8 | Electric Avenue | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 19 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | Max Keeble | 10 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Mr.Epic114 | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | leo | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max Keeble | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr.Epic114 | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | tmelks | 27 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DogFighterDavid1956 | +2.65 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Mr.Epic114 | +2.09 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | tmelks | +1.74 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Yoda | +0.74 | 41 | 46 |
| #5 | Max Keeble | -0.22 | 58 | 52 |





