








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 938 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1184 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1154 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,076 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VNko | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | :) | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | crsdR | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | ✪v0Lx | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | VanDaLoo | 50% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪v0Lx | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | VanDaLoo | 50% | 88 |
| #6 | strange | 49% | 84 |
| #7 | \\\SAVI0N1/// | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | predator | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VanDaLoo | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | crsdR | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | :) | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | strange | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | VNko | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strange | 295 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | :) | 197 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | VanDaLoo | 130 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | VNko | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | crsdR | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪v0Lx | +1.79 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | VNko | +1.23 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | strange | +0.92 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | NAik | +0.45 | 78 | 74 |
| #5 | \\\SAVI0N1/// | +0.31 | 69 | 49 |





